Salaam-e-kick-in-the-butt

As I’m sure you can tell - I’m not impressed with the movie at all. Had to sit through it, late nite show Sunday, and I wept through the disastrous remake of “Love Actually”.

The jist:

1. 3.5 hours and 12 songs
2. 6 couples…each worse than the next. The love stories mostly made no sense whatsoever, and each person was a wasted role
3. Rich and bounteous locales… namely London, upper crust Delhi society, and potshots at Rajasthan, Taj Mahal and rural Haryana (I think)
4. Hopping randomly between couples, and songs breaking whatever story/pace they could have hoped to have had
5. Blonde chicks wearing ghagra choli and dancing at Trafalgar Square, London, while Priyanka Chopra ran amok in between the Baywatch babes, wearing a satin nightgown
6. John Abraham.. all he did was run like crazy trying to find his “beloved” who has amnesia, and howl at the moon
7. Anil Kapoor looked at his watch all the time, throughout the movie and lusted after a cabaret dancer type thing..
8. Govinda saying (this is how you have to pronounce it)...“Mai-dum, I Laaabh Oo” to a foreign chick…

The fun part:

1. In the movie, one Haryanvi couple, who’s primary ambition is to finally consummate their passion after marriage. The groom kept saying “kurr, kurr”. The dialogue was, errr…well, I don’t have words for it actually.. it went something like this..
   “Aag lagg-ing ji.. in the backside”..
   No, that MERELY means that there was a actual fire burning away, behind them, in the “suhhag raat room” or whatever you call it..
2. The red lights in the movie hall flickering on and off, at the very part where they are talking of “Diwali ka raat mein hum dono”
3. The movie reel getting stuck at the point where the doctor explains short term memory loss. So you actually had to hear the same dialogue thrice, almost as if YOU had partial amnesia..
   

Which reminds me.. have to ask my Jatni friend if “kurr, kurr” is a mating call particular to that region…