Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Pages from a diary

So, two nights ago I had a seizure. After 6 long trouble-free complacent years. To top it all, I was in office, for the world and sundry to gasp over.

Sounds ghastly? Well, yes, it was. My first attack was when I was 9. My whole extended family had hysterics while I had hysterics. Looking back, I can make wise-cracks about it, but at that time, it felt that my world had shattered.

Over the years, it happened 3 more times. Monday was the 4th eventful one. My medicines had become a part of me, much like my spectacles, and I never even bothered to “realize” it. Along with time, I had to face a lot more than a blackout, there have been heart problems, high BP and sundry other ailments I have faced. So, I “shatter” a lot less nowadays.

Though, I agree, a few cracks HAVE appeared in my armor now. My smug, self-satisfied air of “I’m taking care of myself REAL well” has taken a severe beating. It will take about 24 more hours for my Cheshire-cat grin to be firmly back in place.

Maybe I’m paranoid. What really gets my goat is to be treated like an invalid. I keep telling people IM FINE, but people take time in believing that. This illness is one that makes you go “boom” internally, for whatever time it takes, and then, within 24 hours, u’r up and jumping around, and yes, PERFECTLY NORMAL. That, I think, is sometimes a little hard to digest for others, because they are looking at you with expectant eyes, WAITING for you to put on a show or something.

The pro to this whole mess…
a) it was in office, I had people to take care of me
b) it was late, so, not ALL colleagues saw me having the seizure

The con to this whole mess…
a) it happened in office
b) it happened at all…

Having been-there-done-that… and faced it, and writing about it, for the world to see, is a catharsis of sorts.. I can come face to face with my mental blocks about my illness, and shrug off stigma. Hey, if Steve Waugh can have it, and emerge a winner in more ways than one, I’m in good company :)

A deep realization comes about my well wishers, my friends who love me, and have surrounded me with care.. I don’t know what I would do without them.

The blackness also comes from within.. a frustration .. what did I do wrong, what could have gone wrong, why me again, etc etc. The frustration builds as I had been given a clean bill of health by my doc, for the last 6 years and never dreamt this would happen.

My doctor tells me “you seem fine, absolutely no problem… but ur crash dieting brought down ur blood sugar levels to a dangerously low point, so ur body reacted”. So, we all make mistakes. Good that I made it now, than later at a more critical point in time. I just wish god had a nicer way of nudging me along in the right direction.


progga said...

OK, here's a thought:
Lots of epileptics live alone. How do they manage? Surely it's not just the medication, since this is a little unpredictable... Begs the question: Are there warning signals? Do you know beforehand / is it possible for you to know beforehand about an oncoming seizure? If yes, it's possible to think of ways to handle it. Research and figure out...

shawn5875taft said...

If you are alone, call this number 800-211-9293. Connect with Real Singles from your local area instantly for only $0.99/min with a $4.99 connection fee. A true Match is only one phone call away 800-211-9293. Meet people with common interests and desires now. Check it out. 800-211-9293

lara873lisa said...

='Brand New News From The Timber Industry!!'=

========Latest Profile==========
Energy & Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY)
Current Price $0.15

Recognize this undiscovered gem which is poised to jump!!

Please read the following Announcement in its Entierty and
Consider the Possibilities
Watch this One to Trade!

Because, EGTY has secured the global rights to market
genetically enhanced fast growing, hard-wood trees!

EGTY trading volume is beginning to surge with landslide Announcement.
The value of this Stock appears poised for growth! This one will not
remain on the ground floor for long.

Keep Reading!!!!


-Energy and Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY) owns a global license to market
the genetically enhanced Global Cedar growth trees, with plans to
REVOLUTIONIZE the forest-timber industry.

These newly enhanced Global Cedar trees require only 9-12 years of growth before they can
be harvested for lumber, whereas worldwide growth time for lumber is 30-50 years.

Other than growing at an astonishing rate, the Global Cedar has a number of other benefits.
Its natural elements make it resistant to termites, and the lack of oils and sap found in the wood
make it resistant to forest fire, ensuring higher returns on investments.

the wood is very lightweight and strong, lighter than Poplar and over twice
as strong as Balsa, which makes it great for construction. It also has
the unique ability to regrow itself from the stump, minimizing the land and
time to replant and develop new root systems.

Based on current resources and agreements, EGTY projects revenues of $140 Million
with an approximate profit margin of 40% for each 9-year cycle. With anticipated
growth, EGTY is expected to challenge Deltic Timber Corp. during its initial 9-year cycle.

Deltic Timber Corp. currently trades at over $38.00 a share with about $153 Million in revenues.
As the reputation and demand for the Global Cedar tree continues to grow around the world
EGTY believes additional multi-million dollar agreements will be forthcoming. The Global Cedar nursery has produced
about 100,000 infant plants and is developing a production growth target of 250,000 infant plants per month.

Energy and Asset Technology is currently in negotiations with land and business owners in New Zealand,
Greece and Malaysia regarding the purchase of their popular and profitable fast growing infant tree plants.
Inquiries from the governments of Brazil and Ecuador are also being evaluated.


The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little
known Companies That Explode onto Investor�s Radar Screens.
This stock will not be a Secret for long. Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right
Now! And Please Watch This One Trade!!


All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect
to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are
not statements of historical fact and may be "forward, looking
statements." forward, looking statements are based on expectations, estimates
and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results
or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from third party (IR Marketing).
Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance on forward,looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to
differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is
or informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high risk and you can lose your entire investment.