Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Crash and Burn!!

Part I (yes, an ongoing saga about me going mental)

What does one do, when the foundation of a relationship gets rocked? Are we expected to take a good long hard look at ourselves, at our surroundings, at our friends, and make the perfect sound judgments? And are we asked to walk away unscathed?

It was a horrible feeling – in the middle of my nice, normal, perfectly peaceful day – to suddenly wake up and realize that the interactions with friends at work, and beyond; those I consider my emotional support; were suddenly leaving me hollow. So, over the next few days, I was sinking into a pit of acute depression, feeling irritated one moment and guilty the next, not wanting to face the fact that people I loved, I was beginning to almost run away from. Believe it or not, I spent an evening in a pub, COMPLETELY silent. And to those who know me, that they will agree, is a about face of my general persona, if there was one.

These poor people didn’t know what had hit them; they kept asking me for explanations of my behavior. What would I tell them.. that I myself didn’t know what had hit me too? That I couldn’t find any rational reasoning for my blues? I must say, they have been quite ok, about putting up with my volatile behavior.

Im hoping I will find a solution, as soon as possible...dont want to remain a basket case for too long. And as I do, this post in going to take on a mirror/couch role...

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